I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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