I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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