Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
my poor anus
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
