Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
