I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
