shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
