shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
