if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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