the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
