I think I died a long time ago.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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