I don't remember. Are we still dating?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
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She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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