so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
