I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
