I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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