therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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