my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize