You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
