why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
