Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
