yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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