So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
