So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
