I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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