i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize