And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
