I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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