guys are not supposed to queef...right?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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