Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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