Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
