im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Are we still banned from the library?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
