This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
