Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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