Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
