You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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