just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
