dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
