thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
