"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
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I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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