I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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