oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
