And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
