there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize