okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
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Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
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Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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