So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize