K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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