So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
