i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
