Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
not ubering you a puppy
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
