Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
