So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
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I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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