the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
