I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
