morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
