I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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