my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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