Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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