Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
