I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
