Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
